erotica for older women
I love erotic fiction, but I'thousand fed up reading nigh 22-yr-sometime virgins who commencement f**king like porn stars immediately upon deflowerment. I'd actually beloved to read a sizzling slice of smut featuring a protagonist I can really relate to.
An older broad, with pronounced smile lines and breasts that have lost some of their fullness, and many miles of life experience.
Since I tin't detect a book like that, I've decided mayhap I should write information technology myself. If I want to read about an older woman's sexual awakening, surely others would too?
Not long ago, I happened upon a thread in my Facebook feed debating the appeal of only such a book. The consensus was that NO ONE would desire to read nigh a mature woman having hot sex. Or any sexual activity at all.
The reasons? Older women would experience envious reading almost a contemporary who was perhaps more comfy with her body, and shared said body with men who were mayhap younger and Chippendale-y. Older women would feel envious reading virtually a contemporary who did more wining, dining, and 69-ing. And while no ane came out and said it, at that place was an ominous cloud of ageism hanging over the thread.
No 1 gets turned on by mature sex.
No 1 gets turned on by mature bodies.
Mature readers don't bother with erotic fiction.
I stared at my laptop and tried to make sense of what I was reading, peculiarly since about of the comments were from women. What was it about the concept of mature sex that people found unappealing? If the dominant paradigm privileged older women over younger women, would erotic fiction with 50-year-onetime protagonists be lining Amazon'due south virtual shelves? And was I the just mid-life woman who wanted to daydream about someone just similar me having turbo-charged sex activity?
* * *
Arlene Schindler, a friend who writes about dating and relationships, suggested I read erotic romance novelist C.D. Reiss -- n0t because her books feature midlife women, but considering her writing is several notches in a higher place the typical romance fiction fare.
So I downloaded Reiss's trilogy, Songs of Submission, onto my iPad and -- to my surprise -- was riveted, both by the train-on-the-tracks writing style and the self-love inducing sex scenes.
In a classic half-dozen-degrees-of-separation Los Angeles moment, I found myself sitting side by side to Reiss at a mutual friend's birthday dinner final week. I told her I wanted to write erotic fiction featuring mid-life women -- but I also wanted to sell erotic fiction featuring mid-life women, and did she call up anyone would buy it?
When she confirmed the consensus from that Facebook thread -- that middle-aged women don't want to read nearly other center-aged women having sex -- I asked her why. This is what she told me:
"I beloved to imagine I'd be able to handle a homo like Jonathan [the sex god in her book series] at 25, simply the fact is, he would have terrified me. I would accept run for the hills. Imagine if I had been mature enough, though? I could take rewritten my life.
At least, that's the fantasy, but then I'd have to give up a man I dear, and my children, and all the accomplishments I've earned. I wouldn't desire to redo 25 whatsoever more than I'd want to exist young at 47.
So, I only put information technology in the books. It'southward fantasy, and what I fantasize nearly is making better, more than mature choices. I fantasize most using my youth for something other than taking the tough, boring slog to adulthood. I as well fantasize about beingness v'10." Tough."
Erotic fiction featuring dewy-skinned heroines consistently tops the book charts, and Reiss has gold-mined the fantasy into bestseller-dom. But when I reflect on why I discover her books so compelling, it has nothing to practise with youth -- which, in fact, for me, is a detractor considering, at this point in my life, I don't discover 25-year-olds that intriguing.
What I love is the writing in Songs of Submission, which hurtles forth, eschewing the meandering expository passages common to this genre for rat-a-tat-tat descriptions of frantic, kinky sex. She nails the consuming intensity of being ravaged -- constantly -- past a dominant lover, and the addictive, altered reality this experience creates.
In his postal service Sex Fantasies Make For Better Sex Lives, sex blogger William Quincey Belle explains why submissive fantasies are and so stiff:
A submissive fantasy is really a fantasy about sexual power rather than weakness; the woman perceives herself to exist and then desirable that the man cannot resist or help himself. In the fantasy, the woman imagines enjoying submitting to the man's force, and then it is washed for her pleasance."
And that'southward why I call back erotic romance captures the minds and groins of women -- of all ages. Information technology's intoxicating to feel that powerful, that desired, that adored. Information technology's the ultimate head trip (yes, I said that) to exist a v-star vessel of pleasance.
* * *
I know of only two books of erotica that feature women over thirty. One is Joan Price's Ageless Erotica, an anthology of sexy stories penned past male and female writers to the correct of fifty. It's a fantastic collection that conveys the irresolute nature of sexuality as we historic period.
The other, The Pearl Series, was recommended to me by Reiss. On her website, writer Arianne Richmonde explains: "I wanted to write a romance well-nigh a existent adult female who'd had some knocks and bruises." So she created a chief character who'due south a 40-year-former divorcee. I haven't read the book, then I can't vouch for it. While I'm glad the heroine'south age begins with "4," 40 really seems pretty young.
My own take on the dearth of erotic novels featuring midlife women is that the demographic is smaller. Centre-aged women read fifty Shades of Grey considering they recollect existence twenty-2. But women in their 20s are less probable to read about a l-year-old heroine considering they're convinced they'll never be 50.
Given the size of the boomer population, I'd like to think that boomer erotica volition join the elite club of Amazon top-sellers. I'd similar to disprove the notion that no 1 wants to read about midlife women having torrid sexual practice -- women who, later all, have a few decades of experience on the typical romantic heroine. I'd like to read nigh a 51-year-old divorcee who's having the best sexual activity of her life.
Although that'due south more memoir than fiction.
Earlier on Huff/Post50:
5 Foods To Boost Libido
Related
Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/erotica_b_5628898
0 Response to "erotica for older women"
Post a Comment